Recently I received a question from someone about loving your neighbor when it is hard and the person is doing something that makes it difficult to show love.
Here’s my answer, I hope it may help someone else as well….
I want to first acknowledge how difficult it can be to forgive anyone or love our neighbors. People make following the commands of God quite difficult at times.
Secondly, I’d like to make mention that this verse (Leviticus 19:18) carries considerable significance, not only because of it’s context within the Old Testament, but also because Jesus quoted it when he was asked which commandment is most important.
He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,” and “your neighbor as yourself.
Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Lk 10:27.
So, Jesus singled out this one command as the companion to the importance of loving God. You might even say they are two sides of the same coin. How you love others is connected to your love for God and vise versa. Therefore, I don’t think you’re wrong in applying this verse to yourself and your situation and I think your prayer for this person is definitely an act of love, not a small one either.
I think it’s hard in our minds to separate forgiveness/love and accountability. It is okay to hold people accountable for their actions while still being loving toward them. Jesus does this with us. He forgives us and love us. Romans 5:8 states:
But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Ro 5:8.
Jesus actively died knowing we were sinning against him. He called sin what it was, “sin.” But he still chose to love us in the midst of our wrongs. He didn’t act like we hadn’t done anything wrong, he loved us in spite of it. I think we can do the same for people who have wronged us or someone else. We love while still acknowledging that a wrong was done. Joseph did this with his brothers after they had sold him into slavery:
But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people. 21 Therefore don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Ge 50:19–21.
Also, sometimes the most loving thing we can do is tell people the truth…but in a loving way.
But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.
Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), Eph 4:15.
This may mean you take your neighbor some cookies or fresh bread and try to say, in a loving way, the truth of how you feel when they mistreat their animals. I’m not certain that it will make a difference, because I think you’re right that Jesus will need to soften their hearts to be able to hear anyone’s critiques. Nonetheless, I don’t think it’s wrong at all to say something like, “it really bothers me that they are so passive aggressive, I wish God would wake them up. But I’m going to love them as best I can anyway and I’m going to depend on Jesus to help me to do it.”
I hope that this is helpful. I’ve recently been learning about forgiveness. It’s hard. But unforgiveness is harder. It’s hard on me and the people I need to forgive keep on living their lives however they want. I’m only burdening myself and they seem scott free in their lives. I have found my unforgiveness was the thing keeping me in chains, and once I forgave even when it didn’t seem they deserved it, I was freed.
But it still isn’t easy. I still have to decide every day to offer love and forgiveness in spite of the wrongs done. Please let me know if this helps and/or if you have further questions.
Was this helpful to you? What advise/scriptures would you add? Do you have an example of when you had to forgive someone when they didn’t “deserve” it? Share below in the comments.
